Jesus' death & my father's death - a deeper understanding.....
Going through the motions of my father's suffering and death made me realise some things really important related to our Lord Jesus's death. I would never have known the depth of suffering that Jesus went through if I did not have death staring into my face through my father.
When you go through what I had to go through and those of you who have lost your dads and loved ones know what I'm talking about, you will really experience what Jesus went through. Remember Jesus was all human even though He had divine powers while on earth and He went through the same horrible human pain that any human has ever gone through and He had it even worse.
When my father was struck with pneumonia, he became extremely weak like his whole life had been knocked out of him. He said to me: "Renik, I feel so tired and so very weak." This was when he was just wheeled into the ward and he had not eaten since the night before and now it was already afternoon. It broke my heart to see him that way. I ran to the doctor and nurses or whoever was there and said: "Please feed my father! He is very weak!"
When Jesus was beaten and whipped cruelly, imagine His life being knocked out of Him and He had not eaten for hours since the 'Last Supper' he had with his disciples. Furthermore, He had to bear the cross on His own while walking through the streets of Jerusalem with no food in his stomach. The wooden cross was heavy. It took a massive toll on His physical health. I truly understand now the ordeal He went through.
As the disease ravaged my father's body, he could not take in food orally and had to be fed through a tube that was to go through his nose right into his abdomen. When the tube was first inserted, he choked and spluttered and screamed (he was so fearful). I looked from behind the curtain and said in a whimper: "Papa!" He stretched out his hand to take hold of mine and I just could not bear it.
I don't know if Jesus was fearful of the beatings he went through, but I'm sure being human, He would have experienced fear knowing that each time the shards of stone and steel would rip through His body when He was being whipped. I'm very sure at that moment, Father God would have wanted so much to hold His son's hand and just embrace Him!
When my father was thirsty, and as he could not drink orally, I had to feed him spoons of water into his mouth. He was too weak to drink it in and it dribbled out of the side of his mouth. After wiping him, I tried again but after the third spoon, he choked so he could not take more until later. I also advised to lick his lips as they were very dry. I just felt so helpless.
Jesus was thirsty while on the cross. The soldiers dabbed a sponge on a spear in some wine vinegar and brushed it against His lips but it wasn't enough to quench His thirst. Imagine His mother and the disciple whom He loved watching closely by, feeling so helpless not knowing what to do. This was a very real human experience that Jesus went through.
When my father's pressure plummeted and blood sugar levels went haywire, he started gasping for breath. The antibiotics which were working for a while became ineffective as the disease ripped through his left lung which collapsed. He was put on a ventilator machine to push through a massive amount of oxygen to keep it at levels of 97% and above. At this trying time, my father could respond with 'yes' with a blink of an eye and 'no' with two blinks of the eye.
Jesus too gasped for breath while He hung on the cross. He was hanging from His hands, nails pierced right through to the wooden cross. The gravity pulled him down from His hands and this put pressure on His heart and lungs which made it impossible for Him to breathe. Every few moments or so, He had to lift Himself up so He could allow some air to enter His lungs to breathe. He suffered this way for 3 long hours on the cross under excruciating pain.
When my father lay on his sick bed, I expressed my love to him and told him of the wonderful life He's going to have in Father God's everlasting arms - no more sorrow, no more pain. I read to him Psalm 23 and told him that the best gift for my birthday would be him. He listened attentively with his eyes open.
When we express our love to Father God who first loved us through His wonderful Son, Jesus Christ, He listens attentively. He never forgets when we acknowledge His Son as the most wonderful gift we could ever receive from Him. Psalm 23 which was written by KIng David was inspired by God Himself who wrote it to say that He is the Comforter when we walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
When my father breathed his last, He gave up his spirit and what lay behind on his bed was just his shell, his form, a corruptible body.
When Jesus breathed His last, He too gave up His spirit and his body was lifeless. Yet it did not end there! He rose again from the dead - the resurrection! If not for the resurrection, our faith is in vain! Jesus lives again! This is a promise for all of us and those in Christ - that when we leave this earth, we will live again through glorified resurrected bodies - incorruptible bodies! When you realise this, our salvation takes on a deeper meaning and the resurrection is as factual and true as the rising of the sun every morning! This truth can't be ignored. We have Jesus and Father God to thank for this wonderful truth.
One thing I learned from all this - when it's time to remember Jesus' death and resurrection at this special time of the year, I can't help but break down and cry my heart out for what He went through to give me salvation. When death stared into my face through my father, it brought home a point about our Lord Jesus. He conquered death but He went through gore, pain and tribulation to conquer death for us! I can only weep humbly before the feet of my Lord because no words can describe the aching heart I feel for the loss of my dad and also for what my sweet Jesus had to endure so harshly.... just for you and me......